Looking for a trashy Xmas present?

Then I found something perfect for you! Here's the trailer park Barbie that comes with three kids from three different Ken dolls and is also equipped with Marlboros, a bottle of Jack, Mac&Cheese and two sixpacks of Budweiser.

Oompa Loompa or why being pale has more class

'Hey there Oompa Loompa!' Tan in a tube or other fake tan is the cheapest way to get some colour on your skin and certainly looks like that. Whether you spray it on, rub it in or frequent the tanning booth daily you'll always look a splotched carrot. And if you have dimples you must be careful that people don't confuse your butt with an oversized orange. Look at all these people who spent too much time in a tanning booth! They all look like their skin is wizened leather. Of course fake tan is cheaper than going on vacation but that's why it's mostly used by cheap people you don't want to be associated with. So please stay away from it and save the money you wanted to invest in a bottle of fake tan for a nice trip to the south. These days it's like in the past centuries again when being pale meant having class. If you look at all the orange tanned bimbos and bimbettes you'll understand what I'm talking about.

White (faux leather) boots

Most white boots can be described with only one word: TRASHY! If you're going for the whore look all you need to do is to put on a mini skirt and combine it with white faux leather boots. Even worn over pants white boots make a cheap slutty look and therefore can mostly be seen on cheap looking sluts with no manners and no class. It's the kind of shoe preferred by bitches with a very orange tan, muffin top and cheap hair extensions (often very blond mixed with black and sometimes a few pink hightlights) that like to f*ck Mediterranean guys with mullets. The hardcore ones like their white boots with buckles and extra thin stiletto heels in plastic. So if you don't want to be associated with something like that buy a pair of black leather boots!

Worst song of all times! Black Eyed Peas - The Time

As if the original version from the 80's and 'Dirty Dancing' aren't trashy enough already the Black Eyed Peas managed to take TRASH to a new level with their new song 'The Time'. It's music for the Ed Hardy crowd that manages to sound even worse than David Guettas shit.
If you want to vomit, bang your head against the wall again and again or even kill yourself right away then listen to this. I don't take any responsibility for any damages that might be caused by this!

Biker Shorts & Leggings

After the awful leggings trend that's been going on for too long already it was inevitable that the next awful relict of past times would be dug out by the fashion industry - the biker short. As if leggings weren't unflattering enough on most of the women wearing them the biker short is even worse. It adapts to every dimple on the thigh and makes almost every leg look like a short tree. I'm so sick of the leggings everywhere, especially of the ones with print and most girls in leggings are insulting my eyes because they don't have the physique to wear them. I'm certain that the biker short won't become as widely accepted but it's bad enough that it's presented to the public as a new cool trend. It's definitely not a cool trend - it should be forbidden to sell biker shorts in any shop that is not selling special cycling gear. Even though you might be blinded by the media right now and considering to get a pair please reconsider and do not support that trash! Go back to trousers and jeans! Well I'm sort of okay with jeggings and leggings that look more like very skinny pants if the person wearing it is slender enough for it. And of course you can wear biker shorts when you're participating at the Tour de France. But with all the doping scandals cycling is so yesterday anyway....

Diego Maradona

Even though he was a great football player back in the 80's and early 90's Maradona has always been a psycho freak. His involvment with drugs caused him a lot of trouble already including the suspension from professional football in 1994. After his career as a player ended in such an embarrassing way he became fat and even more psychopathic than before and also checked in at quite a few hospitals over the last years. In 2008 Argentina was so nice to give him another chance and made him the coach of their national football team which he led to World Cup in South Africa. This apparently made him so happy that he managed to surpass himself in an even more excessive manner

Totally drunk with a self made bald patch

This is a video I've made last Halloween. There was this totally drunk guy who shaved his head to create an old man's bald patch. If this weren't ridiculous enough he's also been wearing red shorts, a tank top and flip-flops with white tennis socks. It was freezing cold but he was so drunk that he didn't really care. Unfortunately the video is very dark, but he was so wretched that I need to share this here.

Is this the trashiest song ever?

Yes it is!

Please be aware that I'm not responsible for any damage that might be done to your ear-drum!

Joisey Shore 2

Look at this Joisey Shore bimbo. And tell me what is NOT wrong about this whole THING in the photo! How many trashy things can you find in this picture?

And here's another one. By the way... Is that guy a Gotti?

Let's go down the shore... JOISEY SHORE!

'Going down the shore' is the Joisey way of saying 'going to the beach'. Everyone in Nu Joisey is going down the shore, especially in summer when it's hot and humid. New Joisey also known as the Garden State is the most commonly ripped star on the USA flag and always the victim of bad jokes and snide remarks. So as Nu Joisey is the joke of the US nation, also has a bad call abroad and people there are going down the shore it's obvious that the Joisey shore is the perfect location for filming a bunch of primates. At least that's what the people responsible for the program on TCFKAMTV (the channel formerly know as Music TeleVision) think, if they think at all these days. So they decided to torture the view viewers they have left with Jersey Shore - a 'Reality TV Show' that follows a bunch of bimbos and bimbettes doing trashy shit at the Joisey shore. If you thought it can't get worse and even more brainless and tasteless after you've seen The Real World, Laguna Beach, The Hills, The City, A Shot at Love, A double Shot at Love, The Rock of Love, Flavor of Love, 16 and Pregnant and It's Amore then let me tell you IT CAN GET WORSE!!! Joisey Shore first gives you the impression that you're watching a documentary of primates in their natural habitat. As the bimbos and bimbettes on Joisey Shore all have an extreme (shitty looking) tan you think why is MTV filming orang-utans and gorillas during their mating time? Then you see that the orang-utans and gorillas are dressed in very cheap looking polyester, trash hardy clothes and that some of them have really bad hair extensions and you realise MTV did not turn into Discovery Channel and you ask yourself if they're trying to create a show whose level is even further below the Jerry Springer Show. The answer is: YES THEY DO! So I recommend you press the OFF-button on your remote instead of watching these pieces of crap while they're f*cking, dancing, fighting and doing the other stuff that life without brain does. And if you feel the need of going down the shore of Nu Joisey yourself then I'd recommend Beach G on Sandy Hook. But be aware that you might encouter nude people there behind a certain point and they play beachvolleyball and are waiting in line at the hot dog stand - that's Joisey Shore at its best! And if you're afraid but still want to get some Nu Joisey then just watch The Sopranos...

Flower Crotch wallpaper black

Want to deflower him?

Faux leather jackets paige duke

I detest faux leather jackets and lately I see people wearing them wherever I go.













They look just as cheap as they are and create a trashy overall impression. And many of them are made of materials that can cause cancer or other damage to your health. Mostly I see the style with rib-knit trim that you can get in every major retail chain store and its combined with skinny jeans on not-so-skinny girls with very short legs that are stuffed in white pointy boots. I just named this look the Hollywoodturk-Girlfriend-Überbitch-Look and will do an extra post about the complete thing soon. Well back to the faux leather jackets now. I know real leather often requires some $$$ but that doesn't justify buying faux leather jackets because they simply look bad! There are many good looking jackets made of fabric out there so there's no need to go for the faux leather shit. And if you're a vegetarian/vegan then tell me why you would want something that resembles dead animal skin????

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