Looking for a trashy Xmas present?

Then I found something perfect for you! Here's the trailer park Barbie that comes with three kids from three different Ken dolls and is also equipped with Marlboros, a bottle of Jack, Mac&Cheese and two sixpacks of Budweiser.

Oompa Loompa or why being pale has more class

'Hey there Oompa Loompa!' Tan in a tube or other fake tan is the cheapest way to get some colour on your skin and certainly looks like that. Whether you spray it on, rub it in or frequent the tanning booth daily you'll always look a splotched carrot. And if you have dimples you must be careful that people don't confuse your butt with an oversized orange. Look at all these people who spent too much time in a tanning booth! They all look like their skin is wizened leather. Of course fake tan is cheaper than going on vacation but that's why it's mostly used by cheap people you don't want to be associated with. So please stay away from it and save the money you wanted to invest in a bottle of fake tan for a nice trip to the south. These days it's like in the past centuries again when being pale meant having class. If you look at all the orange tanned bimbos and bimbettes you'll understand what I'm talking about.

White (faux leather) boots

Most white boots can be described with only one word: TRASHY! If you're going for the whore look all you need to do is to put on a mini skirt and combine it with white faux leather boots. Even worn over pants white boots make a cheap slutty look and therefore can mostly be seen on cheap looking sluts with no manners and no class. It's the kind of shoe preferred by bitches with a very orange tan, muffin top and cheap hair extensions (often very blond mixed with black and sometimes a few pink hightlights) that like to f*ck Mediterranean guys with mullets. The hardcore ones like their white boots with buckles and extra thin stiletto heels in plastic. So if you don't want to be associated with something like that buy a pair of black leather boots!

Worst song of all times! Black Eyed Peas - The Time

As if the original version from the 80's and 'Dirty Dancing' aren't trashy enough already the Black Eyed Peas managed to take TRASH to a new level with their new song 'The Time'. It's music for the Ed Hardy crowd that manages to sound even worse than David Guettas shit.
If you want to vomit, bang your head against the wall again and again or even kill yourself right away then listen to this. I don't take any responsibility for any damages that might be caused by this!